Technology & Pediatric Mental Helath

On September 17, 2025, Dr. Rachel Fancher spoke to the CATCH community about the importance of establishing guidelines around the use of phones, technology and social media for children. Left unchecked, kids are being exposed to a lot of content and information at much earlier ages, and don’t always know how to deal with it or how to interact with it.

Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, has identified studies that show that parents are overprotecting their kids in the real world and underprotecting their kids in the online world, however parents are provided with little to no guidelines about how to teach their children to be safe online or how to use technology without negatively impacting their mental health. It’s never too late to establish these rules! See below for a synopsis of the talk as well as a link to view the whole presentation.

Suggested Technology Guidelines

Balance: Find a balance between technology and the rest of your child’s life. Questions to consider: Are they involved in other activities? Are they active physically on a regular basis? Do they spend time doing different things besides sitting on their phones?

Content: Not all videos or screens are created equally. Watching a movie in a theater is an “event”; watching television is a family activity; watching an iPad may be more isolated; watching a phone is solitary. Try to keep your kids connected and not going off by themselves with technology for prolonged periods.

Co-Viewing: Watch with your kids to see what they are consuming online and understand what they are viewing, what they are interested in and why.

Communication: Keep talking with your child about guidelines, content they are seeing, setting limits, etc.

Time Limits on Technology

There is no set formula for how many minutes per day they should use technology. Instead, consider the following questions to create guidelines that are appropriate for your child (and each child may be different!):

Does it interfere with their ability to interact with developmentally appropriate activities.

Is it bringing them enjoyment, creating connection, etc., or is it causing divisiveness in the family?

Reminder: It’s important for kids to be bored occasionally so they can find new activities and interests outside of technology.

Align Technology Rules with Your Parenting Values

Are you parenting out of fear (fear of your child being ‘left out’, or being angry that they can’t play on a certain app)? Understand WHY you are making the decisions around technology that you are making; align your decisions around your family values.

Understand what is the purpose of the device (communication, tracking, entertainment, reward, etc.) and then decide when/how your child can use it.

It’s okay to provide access at some times and take away access at other times – it doesn’t need to be “all or nothing”.

Consider alternatives to phones (e.g., “old school” flip phones for communication-only, communal family phone, watches with internet disabled)

It is important to remember that you are the pilot for the family — choose what’s right for your family and adjust if/when needed.

Laying the Groundwork for Healthy Relationships with Technology

Respectful communication online

Proven data that if a person can’t see someone’s face when communicating with them, they will say meaner things

Permanence of online presence

Once it’s out there, it can’t be removed – would they be comfortable with their friends, family, teachers seeing what they post online?

What to do if a child sees something that makes them uncomfortable

Make sure they know they can come to you to talk about what they see online

What to do if someone asks them to keep secrets online

If someone online is struggling (depressed, suicidal, etc.), encourage your child to come to you to get the help and support that may be needed

What is privacy for your child with technology

Discuss a system for monitoring the family’s technology – not to punish them, but to help them manage what they are seeing online

Teach Kids to Decipher What is Real vs. Fake Online

Teach them to be skeptical about what they see

Discuss what is a primary/trusted source and how to determine what is real vs. fake

Educate them about AI and how information and images can be doctored

Ways to Create a Healthy Relationship with Tech in Your Home

Create tech-free spaces (e.g., no phones in bedrooms to prioritize sleep)

Create a “home” for devices

Create screen-free times in your home

Consider and utilize parental modeling

Discuss how your body feels after too much screen time

Keep the conversation going; boundaries can be adjusted as needed – it’s a collaborative and dynamic process

If needed:

Add watchdog apps to monitor children’s tech use

Set times in the home when the Wi-Fi is on/off

Set boundaries around “owning” devices (child vs family owned)

Discuss parental expectations and monitoring of tech

Helping to Manage Social Media & Group Chats

Social media has an enormous impact on kids’ mental health – common issues include: comparison traps, body image concerns, cyberbullying, inappropriate content, sleep disruption, etc. Consider starting slowly with social media with a trial period, discuss boundaries, use it together and discuss it openly.

Group Chats are also a big part of social life for kids but can also lead to social pressure, stress from constant contact with no reprieve, reduction of face-to-face contact and misreading cues, and can lead to obsessive-compulsive behaviors and anxiety. Ways to combat this include teaching them how to extract themselves from group chats, not allowing them to participate in group chats, or even blocking phone numbers.

Seek Support in Your Community

Find other like-minded parents to join together with

Join community organizations

Sign petitions and pledges (i.e., Wait ‘til Eighth)

Encourage ongoing dialogue

Watch the full talk here.